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This is one of those things that just had to be done. I’d seen it in the movies too many times to pass it up. Picture this: Roadside diner, pink vinyl everywhere, waitresses with those little paper tiaras and a truck driver cutting up a line of No-Dose in the restroom. What do you do? Order coffee and pie for sure! Man it was good. Combine that with the burgers, waffles, sundaes and steaks I’ve been forcing down and it’s not my excess luggage they’ll be worried about. Ralph on the other hand eats like a bird, that glue pot looks untouched!

Since Ralph and I drove into Vegas in the dark (and my eyeballs were resting in the glove box in protest of the absurd conditions) we didn’t get to see much of the landscape, so driving out of town was interesting. So much flat, brown, lifeless ground. So many roads and highways. So many off-ramps and so few on-ramps. Is this how America was settled? Highways were built with only off-ramps so people who thought they were detouring for fuel, snacks or another double gallon of sugar water were actually stuck in the small soul-less towns without any way to continue their journey so they settled and slowly built up a town big enough to house a council who would raise the funds to build an on-ramp so they could all get the hell out of there and into the next town which has a Burger King, a Seven-Eleven and…

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Elvis has been reincarnated as a 9 year old boy in a diner in Vegas…

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas … with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether. Mr Hunter Thompson had the right idea there, the only way you can drive to Vegas is like a bastard since it’s a bastard of a drive. I landed at LAX without event. I managed to get some sleep and only watched one in-flight movie (American Gangster, awesome.), which was good since every movie I put on my laptop before I left was in the programme and I was counting on them for the jet lagged nights ahead. I got to the car rental place and picked up the SUV. Figured out how to drive on the right again and…

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I’m not sure about all the connotations that the title implies but I am at a loose-end and shortly to end up in Los Angeles. Presently I’m in Auckland airport and pondering the knock-on effect that caused me to start rolling on this mini-adventure. The blame lies fairly and squarely with Air New Zealand’s Grab-A-Seat website. A website I visit regularly so I can drool over the low low priced flights to Whakatane or Hamilton. Usually when something good comes on there, such as return to Sydney or something, I get all the way through the booking process, enter my credit card number and get told that “Oops” someone has bought that ticket before me. It’s frustrating and makes me angry. I get Booking-Rage! So when LA came up on the site for 7 days in 2 weeks time, I booked it unthinkingly. I really didn’t expect to get the…

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